is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
