Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
