Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
