I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
