a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
