3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
