i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
