so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
