at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
third nipple confirmed
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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