No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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