I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
