I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
