i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
