Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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