He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
