I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
