Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
