billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
