Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
