you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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