Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
