Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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