I hate all girls vehemently.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
