Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
