I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
