i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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