I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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