why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
