So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
