you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
