my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
