im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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