Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
