I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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