giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
