So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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