Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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