If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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