If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
