I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
