So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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