So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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