3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
