dude i'm inner monologue high
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
