she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
