I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
