Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
