Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I don't think brook has ever known best
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
