I'm really into asian looking animals
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
