I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
